Oh Christmas Tree

Yeah OK, so I have no idea why I started this blog singing 'oh Christmas tree'. It is pretty close to the big day though isn't it?

I'm not big on the whole religious meanings behind this time of year (not that I don't respect them, there are just too many to focus on one). So this time of year for me means what I think it should, time for family!

My boyfriend and I are merging family traditions this year. It'll get easier as the years go by, but this is the first year we are really merging and it's kinda cool. It feels like I have 4 families, my Mom's side, my Dad's side (they are divorced and remarried), my boyfriend's immediate family, and his extended family. All of whom I think are great, if not love. No evil mother in-laws here! (Although I'm not to found of the step-mother, too much drama about her and my Mom being best friends before she started dating my Dad)

Sunday, Monday and Boxing day are filled completely with family dinners, brunches, and get together. Lucky for me I also get Wednesday off, while my boyfriend goes to work. I'll be writing. My boss also told me that I can basically write my novel on Thursday and Friday because there will be nothing to do. So by the 30th, we'll see how far I am. Things in my novel are starting to feel like they are becoming clearer. Like I can see what road I've got my characters on. I feel like I can do this again.

Not only that, but I'm getting faster at my day job. What does that mean? Well when you only have a certain amount of work per day, it means that I get time to write at work again. See, good things can happen. I can only imagine what the new year will bring. (I'm wishing for a contract with a publishing company, but what new author isn't?)

Happy Holidays and all that jazz, and if I don't write before then... Happy New Year as well.

From your future favorite Author,

Dust

Why Dust (part 2)?

Why did I choose the name I did?

I have another post on here about this. The info in that post is all from the dictionary. So I thought I would add this little tid-bit.

D.U.S.T. also represents a phrase I like to say.

Don't Underestimate Scatterbrained Thoughts!

This phrase pretty much describes me and my writing style completely. Just thought you might find it interesting... Of course now you're probably thinking, "Why the H*** am I even reading this loser's blog" (Sorry can't help you there!)

Anyway, I've got to get back to Chapter 8 (yes I'm back stepping a little bit, but only because I need to add in a very critical scene I didn't realized existed before), so I can finished Chapter 10. Later.

Dust

What Goal?

Today is November 29th. Tomorrow is November 30th, the day I said I would have my novel done by.

Yeah F-ing Right!

I added a couple of chapters, I was sick for a week, had mind block for almost 3 weeks, got over it and started writing again...and now I'm so overwhelmed with the volume of work I have to get done in a short period of time that I have had no time to write.

Since I added two chapters my new Goal date should be the 14th of December… But I haven't even finished chapter 10 yet. I know I'm trying to do too much at once. Work is overwhelming because of all the stuff I have to re-do. I'm taking over for someone who did not keep good records and so I have to go through and try and make sense out of someone else's mess.
I've felt overwhelmed lately. I haven't written in a week. I feel like I'm getting no where at work.

So I have two weeks…. And I will tell you right now my novel will not be done. By 22nd, things at work should calm down enough for me to wrap my head around writing again. You are probably wondering why it's so hard. "can't you just leave work at work, and go home and write?" No, and its because of my personality. I stress. I stress over little things. I'm not vocal about it, in some cases, people have been surprise when I finally tell them I'm stressing about something. So all this crap at work has bogged me down emotionally, and I can’t get into my novel because I need an escape. I've been reading, watching movies, because I need to escape from the crap.. Not get more emotionally involved in something else. Not create an escape for someone else.

I guarantee nothing right now. I can't give you a new time line. I can't even say that my novel will be done by my birthday (which is in January sometime). All I can say is:

I hate not writing, and as soon as I'm able I will get back to it… but not right now.

Dust

Ahhh Crap!

Chapter Ten = Pain in my behind!

I got to the point were "S" is Dead... Yes dead, she died before my main character could get to "S", so she just has to deal with the whole death thing... and that's turning out to be a lot harder than I thought.

Turns out this scene is more about her coming to realize what real life (and death) is like, and she freaks... much the way I did at my grandma's funeral.

My grandma died in March. I saw her in the hospital when she was still lucid, but she was in a comma for a few days before she finally went. The funeral was the hard part. Open coffin. The body lying there just didn't look like the lady who had been such a large part of my childhood. Practically raised me. I made the mistake of touching her hand, as if to prove she wasn't really there. I've never completely emotionally collapsed like that before. It was like a whole new world full of pain crashed down on me, crushing everything else out of my life.

I curled up and cried so hard right there in front of her coffin. It was a good 15 minutes before I could just stand up and take a descent breath, and another 15 before I stopped balling, and was just down to tears. For anyone who knows me... That's more crying then I've done in a whole lot of years.

I think that's why its so hard. I almost started crying today, not at the scene but because of the memories I was digging up to write it.

I couldn't do it today. I plotted out exactly how I want the scene to look like, and I know how to start the next, but I couldn't write it today. I'll try for tomorrow, but if I can't I'm going to skip it and move on to the next bit. My main character will just have to deal with "S" being dead later on.

Who knew this writing thing could get so personal? :)

Dust

Muhuhahaha

(Yes that's supposed to be my evil laugh.)

I finished Chapter 9 today. I wrote 2,737 new words (5 1/2 pages), and after taking a two hour break to do Life stuff, I'm going back into it. Gotta start Chapter 10.

Chapter 10. The chapter I kill off one of my main characters... (sigh)... Wish me luck!

(I really like having a whole day to just write... huh, who knew?)

Dust

Thanks

I would just like to take this opportunity to send a thanks out to Woman of Words and Ryan. Both of your comments were helpful.

W.o.W., our little mutual goal seems to be slipping to the way side, what with life taking over and all, but it still is a good idea. I hope to be sending you a word count soon.

Ryan, thanks for stopping by. Us writers have to stick together, support each other and what not. Your advise was/ is taken, and hopefully when I get going again I'll just be writing, not editing at the same time.

Like most things in life, Life seems to get in the way. Errands to run, people to visit, groceries to buy. When the time I have after work is whittled down like that, I've got two choices. Make time by waking up early or staying up late. Or, just write on the weekends.

Right now I'm going to try for the weekends. After a while who knows… I do have Monday off, while my boyfriend has to work. A whole day to myself, and I plan on filling it with Writing.

Well, that’s all I've got right now. I'll keep you updated…. Seems like I write here about as often as I write at home. Let's hope that changes!

Dust

Trucking

I've been trying. Just thought I'd let everyone know.

I just got a new position with the government. No more working and writting during the day. I'll have to do all my writting at home now. Which is fine. This new position is harder, more of a challenge, and I think I'm really going to like it. Down side is I won't be writting as much, but it was one or the other.

I would either stay in the job I was in, and write lots but eventually get bored and not want to go to work anymore... or this position, where I will enjoy what I'm doing, streach my mind and abilities and write at home like people are supposed to. I know I had it good with the old, but the new sounds more exciting.

Anyway, I have been trying to write. It'll be different for the first little bit, until I get used to it, and work out a schedual so that I can have a life too.

So, I'm trucking along. I'll get there soon. I got a goal to meet here!

Dust

So my grammar sucks....

Ok so it's been a week.

I've done everything I can think of to flush out this character. Interviews, character sketches, pictures, and personal history. I know this woman very well now… and yet it's almost like I'm scared to start writing again.

This is chapter 9. The last chapter before I have to kill her off. I'm nervous. I guess it should be a good thing, I wanted to like her, but I don't think this is from a new emotional attachment.

I've hit a wall. A wall so big it's taking me a really long time to get around it. It started with realizing that I wasn't attached to my character. Then it was trying to find points in my writing groups critique's where they didn't like her, but I couldn't find any, because the focus from most of them was on my grammar and syntax. Then I had to go and open my big mouth. Now, things are resolved and I still can't write. I keep looking for spelling mistakes, or grammar errors. I thought I was doing ok, that some of the comments didn't get to me, but I think they did. I'm having a hard time getting back into writing because I know all the little things suck.

Since I was in the fourth grade I've known my spelling and grammar sucked. It hasn't changed much since then. My brain is just not wired that way. And when I write "past" instead of "passed", I'm not dumb. I do know the difference. It's just my brain trying to find the shorter word that sounds the same to fill in the gap, so I can keep writing. Now, I keep looking for the little things like that. Its frustrating, and it's keeping me from writing.

I want to write, but I'm sure what to do. Now that I know everyone and their dog hates my spelling and grammar, I can't get past it. I make sure I've got the right "there", I double check my spelling of "barely" instead of writing "barley". This isn't how my creative process works. I've never cared about the little things until the end of my writing, once the piece was done, NOW I can't think of anything but the little things.

I told one of the ladies in my group that I was fine. That I didn't take this whole grammar, spelling, crap to heart. I guess I was wrong. I hope I can find a way out of this mind set, and get writing again, get into my creative zone, because right now… I can't write at all.

Dust

My character

So I was playing around with a doll creator.

Here is my attempt at my main character with only two arms, (she has four in my novel). Also in my novel she has darker skin... think a nice Island suntan.



I can't do this with the rest of my characters unfortunately, but hey at least it's an attempt.

Dust

Emotionally Involved

So much for my roll.

I knew something was wrong with it… I just couldn't figure out what.

All throughout chapter 7 I was thinking that something was wrong with it… I couldn’t put my finger on it though.

Then I went to my writing group meeting. They didn't find it either but what they did find pointed it out to me. I'm not emotionally connected to one of my characters, "S". I intentionally didn't let myself get close to her because I knew that I would have to kill her off eventually.

How do you let yourself get attached to someone, even if you know that you have to be cruel in the method of their death?

My reader doesn’t fall in love with "S" the way I hoped they would. I need them to love her… it's very important to the story. But the reader can't love her if I don't. Every reader who has read this chapter doesn’t really think twice about her. She's whatever. Blah. Annoying. Not noticable.

In fact, people who read this chapter, like a very minor character who shows up for less than 3 pages, more than they like her. "S" is a main character.

I've been protecting myself from getting hurt when I kill her. I don't want to be upset, but I have to be if I want my reader to be as well.

This is so annoying, but I know I have to figure it out. I may have to go through and give her a personality overhaul.

(Sigh) The joys of writing!

Dust

I'm on a Roll

(knock on wood)

I'm on a roll. I finished off chapter 8 and now I'm on Chapter 9. I know this might sound silly but, "Wow! I made it to chapter 9."

Chapter 5 was my last big stepping stone. I'd never made it to a Chapter 5 in anything I've written for myself... I mean sure when I was in Jr. High my English teacher convinced me to write a novella for her (I still have a copy of it somewhere). It had 10 Chapters, but this is my first non-rushed attempt. That novella could have been a full length novel, but I had to cut out a lot because I wanted it to be done by the end of the school year.

I guess the reason 9 is making me so happy is because after 10, I know I've done it. I've really put butt to seat, fingers to keyboard and written something... weather it's any good we'll find out eventually. But seeing as how this is my first baby, 1st project of note, it's exciting to know I've put in the effort, and it's starting to show.

Now, I should stop blabbing in my blog. I've found a process that keeps me interested in what I'm writing while I'm writing it (which is kind of important) and if you notice, I've written a Chapter in two days. Holly crap-olla. This could get very interesting. It may have only been a fluke, just something that worked with Chapter 8 (it is a short chapter), but you never know.

Till' the next chapter,

Dust

I'm Connected!

Hurray!!!!

I'm connected to the internet. This is my first entry from home.

What to write about?

Well, I'm about halfway through chapter 8. Going along quite nicely. I hit a wall on Thursday night. It was about half way into the hockey, thus I was home alone, since my boyfriend had gone to watch the game. Anyway, I just didn't know what to do. To go this way or that way with the organization of this chapter. So I called up a friend of mine in Ontario and I sat and talked with him for about half and hour. Just talking it out helped, and I ended up writing until about midnight that night. I think I wrote a total of 9 pages, 4 scenes. It may not sound like a lot. Most people can read through 9 pages in about 30 minutes, maybe less. But it takes a lot longer to write. I wrote 9 pages from 9pm to midnight.

As far as my goal is concerned, I think I’m a little behind. It's been about 20 days since I made my goal so I should be at 40 pages. I'm only at 25. Oh well. That's what happens when you spend a week not being able to move because of stomach pains. If I take out that whole week, that leaves me with 14 days, and a goal of 28 pages. I'm closer to that. Regardless I plan on making my goal. I have to add 12 days to my finishing date because I'm adding two more chapters here, but I will be done before Christmas. That'll be my present to myself.

Well I think that’s it for today. If I want to reach my goal I should get to writing my novel, not just updating the world on my progress.

Have a good one,

Dust

Update

Thanks for the concern anonymous.

Made it to Tuesday alright after all. The doc's just seem to have overestimated to relief factor of their medication. It didn't kick in until Saturday night. It wasn't a wonderful bliss of no pain, but it was less. And gradually it started going away.

I've also cut everything remotely good to eat out of my diet. Sucks but if it'll make my stomach better than I'll deal with it. No tomato based products, No spices, Nothing heavily seasoned, No fats (sweets or desserts), No carbonated drinks, No alcohol (not that I was a heavy drinker before), No Advil, No raw veggie's, Very little dairy, and No Buttered Popcorn (that one hurts).

Today I can say my stomach is better. The pain is barely there, sort of like a sore mussel that’s almost healed. I hope my stomach is almost healed. Doc's said it would take about two weeks, but he also said the pill he gave me should have me feeling relief anywhere between 4 hours to a day at most. It took four days! I think I'll stay on this god-awful diet for at least three weeks, just to be on the safe side.

Now for the good stuff:

I can write again. I'm almost finished Chapter 7, two more scenes left. Actually, Chapter 7 will become chapter 7, 8 and 9 so I just added two chapters to my overall length. Not a bad thing, it was looking a little short anyway.

And we're getting the internet on Saturday. We bought a computer last Saturday and it's pretty cool. Once we get the internet hooked up, it'll be smooth sailing.

And I'm back at MY office again. I can't tell you how awesome it is to be back. Everyone was happy to see me. Everyone here smiles. And I can walk up to anyone and talk to them. It's so much better here.

All in all, It's a good day (despite the weather; It's cold here). Hope you're having a good one too.

Dust

Bad things

So I'm now under the impression that bad things happen to good people.

My stomach pain has become a real problem.

It's hard to move around, walk, stand, lift. It's like the movement jars my stomach into spasms. Here's the worst part. It's getting so I can't even sit straight up without being in a lot of pain.

Fetal position seems to bring it back down to minimum, but that's not going to happen at work... there's the problem.

I can't even work with this pain. I've had pain before and managed to work through it, but this... I think I'm going to check myself back into the emergency. (What? you ask, When did this happen?)

Tuesday night. The pain got to be really bad. Even then 5 people had to talk me into going before I would. I don't like doctors. So it was a relatively short stint in the hospital. Out by midnight. They took some blood, ran some tests, made me drink this awful but effective milk stuff that froze my stomach. I had 4 whole minutes without pain before the freezing wore off. By the end of it, they gave me a little pill that was suppose to cut off the acid production in my stomach, and I was suppose to cut out anything in my diet that might cause acidity.

Did that, it didn't help. Took the pill, and the pain is getting worse. So what now?

I haven't decided yet, possibly check myself back into emergency and see what the doctors have to say, possibly not, although my boyfriend is already insisting that I go. I'll figure something out.

I think besides the fact that I can't work with this pain, the worst thing is that it's hard to sit at a computer and write. I'm getting to a good part in my novel (to an author every part is a good part). I want to keep writing, but every time I sit down in front of the computer, I get these awful shooting pains across my stomach. It happens at work and at home. I think I'm in a bit of a pickle here...

Is this thing rendering my an invalid... I hope not, cause that would really suck.

Well, It's my last day here at this office, I'm suppose to go back to my own on Tuesday. Lets see if I make it there.

Cheers,

Dust

Blogger

Not that I can really blame Blogger for it...

There is a bug going around I guess that occasionally loses template data… IE: All the work you've done to make your blog your own, disappears.

I spent a good hour recreating my Blog template, and I don't have that many customizations. Hopefully you don't fall victim to this bug. It really bites.

And I would like to publicly express my apologizes to the Blogger Help crew. I was a bitch. It was a bad day, and I'm sorry I took it out on you.

There! Hopefully that's all of it. Now I must get back to work…My real work ;-)

Talk to you soon,

Dust

One more...

Ok so this is the third entry I've made today.

You'd think I was bored or something....

Anyway, I did some goal setting today (in my spare time, or course). I would like to post it here in order to give it a little more weight. Not just something I can ignore.

My Goal is to be finished my Novel by November 30th! (wow, I know)

That gives me 67 Days from Today, September 25th.
It works out to 2 pages per day (not a hard thing to do right?)

Specifics by Nov. 30th:
- One complete novel with the words "The End" in clear view.
- No chapter revisions, no mistakes corrected throughout the remaining chapters. (This one will be hard not to do)
- Chapters 7 through 15 written.

Exceptions: (because there is always an exception)
- Should another chapter become important to the completion of the novel, 6 days per chapter will be added.

Well, what do you think? Is it sound enough? No loop holes I can see, and I know i'll be looking for a loop hole later. Writers are the worst procrastinators in the world.

I know I can do it. I have to. I want to.

OK enough of the positive words and thoughts crap.... It's time to go home.

Dust

Why Dust?

Why did I chose Dust as my name? There are a few points on here I like, some I don't, but it was Number 11 that swayed me.

Cited from Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.0.1)
Dust, Pronounced [duhst] – noun

1. Earth or other matter in fine, dry particles.
2. A cloud of finely powdered earth or other matter in the air.
3. Any finely powdered substance, as sawdust.
4. The ground; the earth's surface.
5. The substance to which something, as the dead human body, is ultimately reduced by disintegration or decay; earthly remains.
6. British: a) Ashes, Refuse, Etc. b) Junk1 (def.1).
7. A low or humble condition.
8. Anything Worthless.
9. Disturbance; Turmoil.
10. Gold Dust.
11. The mortal body of a human being.
12. A single particle or grain.

There were a lot more than 12 examples, but these were the important ones in my mind.

Have a good one.

Dust

Oh, The Pain

So I've been sick off and on for the last two months. I mentioned in an earlier entry that I thought at one point that I might be pregnant because I got nauseous every time I ate. Don't worry, this is still NOT the case.

I went to the doctor (finally) on Saturday. He pushed on my stomach, asked me some questions and then said… TA DA!!! You have glastro-blah-de-da, which left untreated will turn into an ulcer.

An Ulcer!?!

Yes, I have the beginning of an ulcer. So I have to go for a couple of tests, and then they can treat it. Turns out that stress has very little to do with getting an ulcer. It may be a factor, but not the sole cause. If you use Advil or Ibuprofen a lot, that can help cause one. So can some sort of bacteria. If you have all three (I know I have at least two) than you have the best chances to get an ulcer.

The Advil one sucks, because I need it for my headaches (migraines). I'm supposed to switch to Tylenol for a bit, but Tylenol is bad for your liver so it one for another. Such is life. (I'm in my early 20's… I'm too young for an ulcer)

I have been really stressed out lately so I'm sure that it has helped as much as stress can to the formation of this diagnosis. My hope upon hope is that I can somehow just write my novel and not have to worry about a day job every again.

That’s probably a couple of years off at the earliest, but still it's something to look forward to. Well that’s the update. Hope your weekend was better than mine.

TTYL,

Dust

Chickens

I feel like a chicken, running around with it's head cut off.

Just running blindly into the next disaster.

Ok it's really not all that bad but I really am very swamped. I don't even know when I can go back to me own office yet, even though I was assured I would know by mid week. And I'm gone on a conference thingy tomorrow.

And in the next 2 days, I have to do laundry, grocery shopping, get my hair cut, clean the damn apartment (cause it needs it badly), and find some time to write down these amazing ideas I'm having for my novel. Where does all the time go?

Seriously, after the retreat I found that I've been afraid to actually succeed in writing. Now that I know that, and am trying to move past it, it's like inspiration keeps hitting me on the head and I don't have enough time to sit down and write it all out. Grrrrrr....

Oh well, look at the time. I have to go. The end of the day has come, I've managed to transfer all the work I would be doing at my office here, and have been busy all day so that now I have to go home and do all that other work before I can get down to what I really want to do. My real work. My writing. My Novel.

So close and yet so far. Why does the stupid world have to keep revolving in 24 hour increments. I would just like one 30 hour day and enough energy to last through all the hours of it.

Oh to live in a fairy tale world.... maybe that'll be my next book.

Dust

What a day!

Here's the scoop.

Last night I went home and did some more shopping. Yes I've spent close to $500 in the last two days outfitting myself to look like a business woman. In my mothers words "Dressed for success".

Well I'm dressed for it now. I bought a pair of pant for my skirt suit, and a whole other black suit. New shoes, new purse, new jewelry. I think they call this the works. What sucks major bum is that I've been trying to save up for a new computer at home. I really need it. My computer is crap. No… Beyond crap. Anyway this whole shopping spree has set me back a bit. I hate this.

I've had some issues with the temp I was trying to get. The girl I trained before that I thought I was getting called in sick yesterday. We called the agency and the best they could do was send someone out today. So today came around and The new girl is late then she faints. I never found out what happened after they called a ambulance for her. So we went through two temps in just as many days. But we needed someone bad. The temp agency we'd been using said they didn't have anyone else to send us. So I went shopping. Three agencies later I found someone. She showed up at 11:30, and I trained her over the phone.

Needless to say it's been an interesting day.

Tomorrow I'll be bring in my writing. I have to send out chapter 2 to my writing group to look at. It just doesn’t sound right…

Anyway, lets hope tomorrow is better. Although I'm not sure if it would be better more or less eventful.

Dust

New Stuff

Ok First things first.

The Retreat was awesome. You can check out some pictures and other members comments on our Blog. http://encryptors.blogspot.com/

I realized that I really did finish Chapter 5 before I went, so I finished all of Chapter 6 and a little bit of 7 while I was out there. Very cool lots of fun. I have a little problem with large groups of people in small areas, but I was ok.

Second. I get back to work on Tuesday. My mind still hasn't quite got into the whole working thing yet but I'm trying. Then I find out at 9am that I'm being transferred for a week to a different building. I don't know any of the people I'll be working with and I have to call the girl that I trained to do my job while I was gone, back so she can do it some more. (I also found out that she is sick I felt even worse)

So here I am. Day one (Even though I was technically here as of yesterday afternoon) in a new building. I really don't know how long I'm going to be here for. It could be for a week…. It could be forever. Not that I really want to be here forever. I like my old office. Where I didn't have to learn really complicated tracking systems (Yeah I get to read some of the premiers mail). No matter. It's all for my benefit in the end. The more you know, the more you get paid.

One last thing. My boss (at my old office) told me that I needed to dress more professionally. I thought I was doing fine, but apparently not. So after I went home and cried (yes I'm a baby), My boyfriend took me shopping. I bought a suit, and not just any suit but a skirt suit. To anyone who knows me, they know I don't wear skirts, ever. But I was in a bad mood and I said whatever, so I am wearing a skirt as I'm typing this. I feel like a little girl dressed up in mom's work clothes. Goodness, what was I thinking a skirt? Not to mention my shoes fall off if I don't walk in them funny. They're too big for me. Whatever.

So I'm here for a bit, and there is no way I'm going to write in this office. My desk backs into the doorway of the Big guy's office. And by Big guy I mean if this was a private organization (and Ralph Klein isn't involved in this example) the big guy would be the Vice-President of the company. So yeah. Well best get back to work (WHAT WORK? I'M BOARD!) before they kick me back down to my old job.

I wish.

Dust

And we're off...

I leave in two hours for my retreat.

What am I still doing at work you ask? We'll i'm making sure everything is in order before I leave. You never realize how much you actually do, until you try and do 3 days worth in one.

Oh well. At least it's over now. I trained a girl to cover me for Friday and Monday. She's nice but i'm afraid i can't give her that much stuff to do. She said she didn't mind, so i'm ok with it.

I still have to go home, make supper, pack my bags, say good bye to my boyfriend (who knew i'd get so attached to seeing him everyday after a month and a half) and then meet the girls down at the WGA building. All in under two hours.

So why am i'm still typing?

I have to wait for my boss to sign something off before I go, and I can't leave it for the temp to do. ARRRGGGGG!!!!!!

I'm killling time basically.

Oh and I never did finish chapter 5. Damn. I'm really close to having it done though so I don't think it will take long to finish.

Well i'm going to try and kick him (my boss) off the phone now. I'll tell you all about the retreat on Tuesday.

Cheers,

Dust

Fun Things

Hurray for me!

I managed to find time to write this weekend. I'm almost finished chapter 5, just one scene left, and I still have 2 days and 4 hours until I leave for the retreat. I might just have it finished in time.

Not that I wrote as much as one of the ladies in my writing group. Woman of Words. (see link in sidebar)

This weekend was the 3-day novel weekend. I don't know enough about it to explain it very well, so you can check out Woman of Words blog or the website http://www.3daynovel.com/

I might enter it next year... we'll see.

I also went for the interview today. Funny thing. The lady knows my mom. So we had a few laughs, shared a joke or two, and the interview went very smoothly. I think I did ok. I'll know for sure on Thursday or Friday. She also told me that the department I'm in really wants me. i.e.- my boss. That's a good thing. I like it here.

Best get back to work before they decide they don't want me that much anymore.

Cheers,

Dust.

Balance

What?

More bitching?

Work has been busy all week. How did it get to be so busy? I know. I asked for more work to do. Obviously a big mistake.

Nobody had anything for me when I first asked, so I think they all got together last week and said "On Monday, all of us should dump a whole bunch of work on her." Maybe it didn't happen exactly like that but the end result was the same. Everyone I asked for work from last week, all of a sudden had work for me on Monday. Oh what Fun!

So needless to say, writing time has been minimal. I don't think I'm going to have much time to write this weekend either. it sucks. I was hoping to have chapter 5 finished in time for the retreat, but now it looks like I will be finishing it there.

Such is life.

Our group is trying to set up a group blog. It might be pretty cool. I'll keep you posted.

Well that's all I've got. I'll write more on Tuesday. Maybe.

Dust

News

I got an email today. It was from the lady who did my test yesterday.

Apparently, they looked at my situation and deemed me fit to come in for an interview. I go do that next week on Tuesday. Interview - Step 3.

The Fourth Step, if they deem me worthy of passing the 3rd, will be a referral and thus a second interview. I'm not worried about that one. It'll be with my boss, and me and him get along fine. I just have to get past the 1st one.

Joyful!

It's mid week and I'm actually quite busy. They changed around some of my responsibilities and now I have a whole lot of work to do... Which means less time writing my novel. I guess that's the way it normally goes. It sucks because I don't really have time to write after work either. I guess a balance will have to be found.

Well, I'm off for the day. I'm going to see if I can't squeeze in a few pages tonight.

Dust

Tests

So my boss wanted me to apply for a job pool. You see, he can't hire me full time unless I'm in that pool.

So I was screened in. Alright. First part down.

Second part was today, the Word usage and Typing test. Well, I guess nerves caught up to me. I passed the Word test, but I fail the typing test. The minimum was 35 WPM I somehow ended up with 30. I don't know how considering that is all I do all day long is type.

So what now? Well the lady was nice enough to say she would look into it, and see what she could do. Until then, I guess I'll hope that my boss doesn't find out until she contacts me (which isn't very likely). Oh well, I know I've got a job for the next 2 1/2 months at least.

On the plus side I figured out what I'm doing in my troublesome chapter. I get the guy's sister (the guy who hates my main character) to get them to talk to each other after a storm. Hehehe. I like her, she made everything much easier. And it means that I can get out of this rut i'm in.

Have to take the good with the bad, right? At least I'm not the only one. Another temp in my office had to take the test too. The minimum accuracy on the typing test was 95% he got 93%. He got the same speech from the lady, so we'll see.

Oh and in case your wondering (which I'm sure your not) I don't have the internet at home yet, so I can only do these entries from work (on my breaks of course).

Well, best get back to it.

Dust

Encryptor Retreat

ENCRYPTOR RETREAT COUNTDOWN:
9 days, 229 hours, 13790 minutes

Can you tell I'm excited?

My writing group is having a retreat on Sept 7th. It'll be good to hang around other people who have dealt with similar writing problems. Such as my current character issues. Who knows, maybe we'll learn something from each other?

Anyway, back to the grind,

Dust

Personalities

So the biggest problem I am facing now shouldn't really be a problem. Or at least it wouldn't be for someone who isn't writing a sci-fi novel based on another planet with two sub-races of human beings.

Work is fine, I have a test to do tomorrow so we'll see how that goes. It's my writing....

I'm at an awkward stage in my novel. I have the travel parts broken down into two main periods. I'm in the middle of the first one and I'm stuck. The main point of the chapter is to show that my main character is getting sick and to get someone who hates her race to not hate her so much.

So what did I go and do? I created a scene where my main character is talking to everyone but the guy who hates her. I've made my life very complicated by giving these two characters such strong personalities. He won't come near her, mostly because he's embarrassed because of what he said to her. And while she is curious about the people around her, confrontation isn't in her nature, or how she was raised. Somehow somewhere someone has to give... or maybe I can get someone else to make the start.

Hmmm. Something to think about. Not entirely sure what'll happen but that's the joy and pain of writing. If I didn't love it so much I'd dislike it. (Hate being too strong of a word)

'Till Later,

Dust

Memento...

I wanted to keep this but I didn't know where I could. Then I remembered I have a blog, so i'll put it here.

I found this "Adjusted" quote on an old friend of mine's blog. He took out all the references to God, not that i'm against the big guy or anything, but this way anyone can enjoy it's value. I don't talk to this old friend anymore but I read his blog every once and a while, just to check up on him. If he knew that he'd just shake his head and say something jokingly-mean about me in his next entry. Anyway, here is the quote.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

'til later,

Dust

The very next day.

I went to the interview today.

I already called and withdrew my resume from consideration. It seems fate is keeping me at my present job for a reason. Whatever that might be I'm not sure. I do know that I get to write a little bit of my novel each day here... in my spare time of course.

So what now? Do I stop trying to get a permanent job and stay here, where I don't know if I'll still have a job in three months? Sure.

I guess what it really means is that I should stop thinking about "what if's" and start thinking about "right now's"? It's a hard thing to do... live in the moment I mean.

I'm also sick. I've been sick for the past few weeks now. Upset stomach junk. In fact my boyfriend and I were worried for a little bit there that I might be pregnant since my symptoms were very similar to morning sickness. That would have been interesting. I'm not by the way.

My boyfriend and I live together. Have been for a little while now. I like it because he takes care of me, and encourages me to write. I know a lot of women out there like being strong and independent. "Don't need a man for anything except..." well you get the point. But I like not having to be superwoman around him. I can just be an ordinary mortal, with extraordinary writing abilities.

Can you tell I write sci-fi and fantasy?

Well, best get back into reality for a bit. We'll see if anything of interest happens tomorrow.

Dust

In The Begining...

So why start a blog?

I know people who have blogs. Many people who have them say they are a good release for what goes on in their lives. Others, who I'm sure I'll relate to more, say it a good excuse to not write.

You see I'm an author. No, I'm not published yet, but stranger things have happened :-) I'm part of a writing group, I try to write part of my novel everyday, and I'm serious about what I'm writing... doesn't that make me an author?

I also have a day job. It's annoying to me that I need one, but everyone has bills to pay. At least I know deep down in my heart what I want to do with my life. I think that puts me a little bit a head of the game. It's just the starting off stuff...

I'm working as a temp right now. Receptionist for the Government. I keep hearing rumors that they want to make me permanent, or that they are trying to work something out. I wouldn't care really except for the whole benefits and knowing where you work kind of thing. I like having all my bases covered. I'm a cautious person. Which is why I HATE interviews.

I have one tomorrow. My mom tells me that she really wants me to work there, and their benefits do rival the government's (which is hard to do) but I'm not sure.

I'm not sure about a lot of things right now. The only thing I'm sure of is that I'm on Chapter 5 of my Novel, and today I'm starting a blog. Will I continue with it after today? Depends on my mood. We'll see.

'Til then,

Dust