What Goal?

Today is November 29th. Tomorrow is November 30th, the day I said I would have my novel done by.

Yeah F-ing Right!

I added a couple of chapters, I was sick for a week, had mind block for almost 3 weeks, got over it and started writing again...and now I'm so overwhelmed with the volume of work I have to get done in a short period of time that I have had no time to write.

Since I added two chapters my new Goal date should be the 14th of December… But I haven't even finished chapter 10 yet. I know I'm trying to do too much at once. Work is overwhelming because of all the stuff I have to re-do. I'm taking over for someone who did not keep good records and so I have to go through and try and make sense out of someone else's mess.
I've felt overwhelmed lately. I haven't written in a week. I feel like I'm getting no where at work.

So I have two weeks…. And I will tell you right now my novel will not be done. By 22nd, things at work should calm down enough for me to wrap my head around writing again. You are probably wondering why it's so hard. "can't you just leave work at work, and go home and write?" No, and its because of my personality. I stress. I stress over little things. I'm not vocal about it, in some cases, people have been surprise when I finally tell them I'm stressing about something. So all this crap at work has bogged me down emotionally, and I can’t get into my novel because I need an escape. I've been reading, watching movies, because I need to escape from the crap.. Not get more emotionally involved in something else. Not create an escape for someone else.

I guarantee nothing right now. I can't give you a new time line. I can't even say that my novel will be done by my birthday (which is in January sometime). All I can say is:

I hate not writing, and as soon as I'm able I will get back to it… but not right now.

Dust

Ahhh Crap!

Chapter Ten = Pain in my behind!

I got to the point were "S" is Dead... Yes dead, she died before my main character could get to "S", so she just has to deal with the whole death thing... and that's turning out to be a lot harder than I thought.

Turns out this scene is more about her coming to realize what real life (and death) is like, and she freaks... much the way I did at my grandma's funeral.

My grandma died in March. I saw her in the hospital when she was still lucid, but she was in a comma for a few days before she finally went. The funeral was the hard part. Open coffin. The body lying there just didn't look like the lady who had been such a large part of my childhood. Practically raised me. I made the mistake of touching her hand, as if to prove she wasn't really there. I've never completely emotionally collapsed like that before. It was like a whole new world full of pain crashed down on me, crushing everything else out of my life.

I curled up and cried so hard right there in front of her coffin. It was a good 15 minutes before I could just stand up and take a descent breath, and another 15 before I stopped balling, and was just down to tears. For anyone who knows me... That's more crying then I've done in a whole lot of years.

I think that's why its so hard. I almost started crying today, not at the scene but because of the memories I was digging up to write it.

I couldn't do it today. I plotted out exactly how I want the scene to look like, and I know how to start the next, but I couldn't write it today. I'll try for tomorrow, but if I can't I'm going to skip it and move on to the next bit. My main character will just have to deal with "S" being dead later on.

Who knew this writing thing could get so personal? :)

Dust

Muhuhahaha

(Yes that's supposed to be my evil laugh.)

I finished Chapter 9 today. I wrote 2,737 new words (5 1/2 pages), and after taking a two hour break to do Life stuff, I'm going back into it. Gotta start Chapter 10.

Chapter 10. The chapter I kill off one of my main characters... (sigh)... Wish me luck!

(I really like having a whole day to just write... huh, who knew?)

Dust

Thanks

I would just like to take this opportunity to send a thanks out to Woman of Words and Ryan. Both of your comments were helpful.

W.o.W., our little mutual goal seems to be slipping to the way side, what with life taking over and all, but it still is a good idea. I hope to be sending you a word count soon.

Ryan, thanks for stopping by. Us writers have to stick together, support each other and what not. Your advise was/ is taken, and hopefully when I get going again I'll just be writing, not editing at the same time.

Like most things in life, Life seems to get in the way. Errands to run, people to visit, groceries to buy. When the time I have after work is whittled down like that, I've got two choices. Make time by waking up early or staying up late. Or, just write on the weekends.

Right now I'm going to try for the weekends. After a while who knows… I do have Monday off, while my boyfriend has to work. A whole day to myself, and I plan on filling it with Writing.

Well, that’s all I've got right now. I'll keep you updated…. Seems like I write here about as often as I write at home. Let's hope that changes!

Dust

Trucking

I've been trying. Just thought I'd let everyone know.

I just got a new position with the government. No more working and writting during the day. I'll have to do all my writting at home now. Which is fine. This new position is harder, more of a challenge, and I think I'm really going to like it. Down side is I won't be writting as much, but it was one or the other.

I would either stay in the job I was in, and write lots but eventually get bored and not want to go to work anymore... or this position, where I will enjoy what I'm doing, streach my mind and abilities and write at home like people are supposed to. I know I had it good with the old, but the new sounds more exciting.

Anyway, I have been trying to write. It'll be different for the first little bit, until I get used to it, and work out a schedual so that I can have a life too.

So, I'm trucking along. I'll get there soon. I got a goal to meet here!

Dust